Monthly Archives: February 1997

What’s Your Sign? (And how many of you does it take to change a light bulb?)

Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done!

Posted in Funny Lists, Light Bulb Jokes Tagged with: , , ,

Bart’s Chalkboard

The opening credits of “The Simpsons” shows Bart Simpson writing on the school chalk board the same sentence over and over again, (the ole "write it 100 times" punishment). Each episode however the sentence is different. Someone (not me, thank you) went to the trouble to tape the shows, watch and copy down many of the sentences that Bart writes on the chalkboard.

Posted in Funny Lists, Television Tagged with: , , ,

What Your Car Says About You

Acura Integra — I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

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The Beer Bill of Rights

Congress shall make no law disrespecting an establishment of beer, or prohibiting the free consumption thereof; or abridging the freedom of bar service, or of brewing; or the right of the people peacably to assemble, and to petition the bartender for a round of beers.

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Ode To The Malty Brew

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry Not all chemicals

Posted in Favorite Quotes, Funny Lists, One-Liners Tagged with: , , , , , ,